Cheating on Strangers
Mikhail Rims
May 11, 1993

Karen McEwan was passed out on my friend Greg's bed one night. It was hot that night, and Karen had about 6 too many shots of rum, so she conjured up drunk logic and did the only possible thing: she took off her shirt and her bra, and then she took off whatever was hidden by the comforter. There was no bottom sheet -- she was asleep on top of Greg's mattress.

Greg knew the party was starting to wind down, and he had to find some way to reinvigorate it. He had already played "Ice Ice Baby." It was time to take this party to the next level.

"You know what I always wanted to do?" announced Greg. "I always wanted to play chess on a naked girl."

Some of the few women remaining in the room who looked increasingly uncomfortable during the course of the night finally left.

I volunteered. "I'll play you, Greg, but do you even know how to play chess?"

"Sure I do," said Greg. "There are only 50 squares. How hard can it be?"

"64," yelled Karen McEwan on the bed. "64, and this statement indicates my consent." After making her proclamation, Karen crashed again.

Me: e4!!
Greg: e5??
Me: Qh5?!!
Greg: Nc6
Me: Bc4!!!
Greg: Nf6????
Me: Qxf7#!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a good night.